The Life of Hopelessly Lovestruck Drug Addicts
by uselessid90
Summary: Edward and Bella are both wrapped around each other and their drug use. Will they be able to make it through the process of getting clean together or will it rip them apart. Rated M for lemons and heavy drug use.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Figure I should get this out of my head really quick so I can get back to T&SA. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. **

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." A shiver runs through my whole body and my legs involuntarily jerk. I rub my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm myself up.

I wonder why the fuck I'm not wearing a shirt but forget about it when I hear my phone buzzing on the table.

I stare at it for a few minutes, watching it travel across the table with the vibrations. It truly memorizes me. Like this is the shit that people need to see, this simple fucking thing.

Just a phone moving itself across a table. Fuck yeah.

I reach for it right before it's about to fall off the edge and stare at the screen. It says it's my mom but I don't believe it.

Like my phone is fucking lying to me or something. I know it's lying because my mom hasn't called me in months. Why the fuck would she call now, ya know.

I drop the phone onto the couch beside me and wipe the sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand.

Fuck. Now I'm fucking sweating.

This makes me remember why I have my shirt off. I stare at my knees through the holes in my jeans.

Fuck I've gotten thin. There's no meat on my bones anymore, no more fucking muscle.

The drugs fucking ate all the muscle in my body. Like some fucking shark ripping through the ocean, just devouring everything it can. That's what drugs do to you, they fucking devour.

Fuck that.

I laugh at myself, at my attitude. Like I'm ever gonna fucking quit.

I always get like this. As soon as I go a few hours without anything I start getting the mentality like I'm gonna quit or something, and then I just go and get wasted again. I just forget all about my plan to get off this shit and life is good again.

Life is only good when I'm wasted.

If I can't get high, life is worthless.

I've been this way as long as I can remember. Well actually that's not true.

I remember being a little kid, playing on the swings and shit. Fucking innocent.

That's another thing drugs do, they steal your fucking innocence. Once it's gone, you can never get it back. Never.

So what's the point really, what's the point in trying to make amends with everyone. I'll never be able to go back to the way things were before, there's no fucking rewind button.

I reach over to the stereo and crank up the Bone Thugs cd I've had playing on repeat all day long. I nod my head to the beat and try to lose myself to the bass. It doesn't work because all my brain can think about is when the fuck Jasper is gonna get here so we can start the fucking party already.

Of fucking course he's late, he's always fucking late. Cause as long as he gets his own shit he doesn't care about the rest of us.

In our little group he's the supplier. You always gotta have a supplier in your posse, cause they cut you deals and shit if you're friends with them.

Plus Jasper's just fucking rad. Just one of the best people I've ever met in my life. He's about the only guy I trust.

Just then I heard someone coming up the stairs really fast and my eyes get wide with paranoia.

I hold my breath while I wait for them to get to the top of the stairs. I hear them running down the hallway and the door flies open and hits the wall.

All I really see is her brown hair before she lands right on top of me. And then she's straddling my knees and kissing all over my face before I can even get my muscles to start working again.

"I missed you so much."

Her voice is like fire against my skin and I immediately attack her lips with mine. I try to talk while kissing her, try to tell her how much I missed her and how much I love her and need her. It's mostly just mumbling and lips smacking against each other.

She's all tongue and skin and hair all around me and I can barely control myself.

I pull away from her and look into her eyes for the first time since she came barreling into the room. She looks fucking perfect, like a fucking angel.

"Baby, I missed you so fucking much." I hope she can hear just how much in my voice.

Instantly my day is turned around and all I can think about is staying here with her all day long.

She can just do that, ya know. Like she can just make me focus in on her, forget about everything else, including the drugs.

She was gone for an entire month, went to spend some time with her family. It was the longest we had ever been apart since we met.

Ever since that first fucking night we met I couldn't get enough of her. We spent every single day together since then, never leaving each other's side.

"I brought you a surprise."

She pulled her bag over her head and started rummaging through everything inside it. She finally pulled out a velvet bag that was tied shut.

I held my hand out and she dumped the contents onto my palm. There sat two big seashells that looked like the ones you buy in the stores for decorations.

"I got them right off the beach." I picked one of them up and turned it over and over in my hand. It was perfect, like nothing I'd ever seen before.

"This is the best surprise ever baby."

"You like them?"

"Oh baby, I love them."

I set them next to my phone and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to my chest.

"Fuck, I missed you."

"I missed you so much Edward."

"Let's call Jasper." She nodded her head and picked up my phone, scrolling through the contacts until she found his name.

She dialed his number and put the phone to her ear, waiting for him to pick up.

After what seemed like forever he finally picked up. She squealed into the phone, telling him to get here now cause she was finally home.

She flipped the phone shut and set it back down on the couch.

"We've got twenty minutes." Her smile gave her away.

I lifted the both of us off the couch and carried her into the bedroom.

**A/N: I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but it's something extremely personal to me. We'll see how it goes. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Long time no see, huh? I know, I know. I don't have an excuse. Just looking for some creative outlet. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

Ten minutes later we're both breathing heavy and I feel so much better than I did before. Everything just exhales around me and I can just be with her.

My eyes droop closed and I see hers doing the same. I assume she hasn't slept much since she's been away.

We never sleep well when we're apart, especially when there's no drugs either.

I fall asleep when she lays her head on my chest. It's just to perfect.

I wake up a little while later when I hear banging on the door. My heart rate instantly spikes and start to panic. Then I remember than Jasper was on his way over and my stomach flops in my stomach from relief.

I throw on basketball shorts and jog to the door, I see my phone on the table lighting up and vibrating.

I yank the door open and my smile instantly dissolves, he doesn't look that great.

"What's wrong, dude? You're looking really pale right now."

"Yeah, well, I haven't had anything since I woke up. I'm starting to get the shakes."

I look down at him wringing his hands together. I can tell he's stressed and really just needs to relax for a few minutes.

"No problem, dude. Sit down, I'll get the beers." He nods his head over and over like he's trying to reassure himself that everything is gonna be okay.

I go to the kitchen and get 3 beers, naturally assuming she'll be up as soon as she hears his voice. I wonder if I should wake her up or not, but I let her sleep.

"Where's Bella, anyway?" He asks as I set the beers down on the coffee table.

I can feel the sweat start to seep from my skin and know I really need to get something in my system, like now.

He opens up his backpack and reaches in without even looking, he pulls out to baggies and I can almost feel it already.

Damn, it feels good.

I reach under the couch cushion and pull out my pipe, he starts opening up the first baggy and loads the pipe when I hand it to him.

Of course, I motion for him to take the first hit and he does. His eyes close and the pipe lets off a little bit of smoke and rest goes straight into his lungs.

The smell makes my hands shake, makes me want to snatch it right out of his hands and tell him to quit being so fucking selfish.

I tell myself that I'm delusional and really need to settle down before I start a pointless fight.

He passes it to me and I'm lighting it before he even gets his hand back onto his leg. I watch the flame burn the white that fills the pipe and it makes me feel so relaxed, so calm.

I suck in everything it gives me and keep it in my lungs for a few seconds before I pass the pipe back to Jasper.

That's when she comes out of the room.

The look on her face tells me I've seriously fucked up, I'm seriously an idiot.

"What the fuck?" Her mouth is in a straight line for the first time since she walked through the door.

Jasper tries to jump in, "B, hey! I missed you, girl."

He stands up and puts an arm over her shoulders, pulling her into him.

A kick of jealously drives right through me and I have to repeat to myself that she's mine.

She finally pulls her eyes away from me and looks up to Jasper with a smile.

"I really missed you to, Jasper."

When her eyes are back on mine they're flat. There's none of that happiness from before, there's just brown and more brown.

Jasper gets that we're about to fight and leaves without even saying anything. I feel bad for a second, I know how much he was looking forward to relaxing for a minute.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I thought I would let you sleep, that's all."

"Of course you did, of course you were out here smoking before I'm even awake. You couldn't have waited for me? You know I want some just as bad as you."

She waits for an answer but there's nothing to say.

"You're so fucking selfish, you know that?" I nod, I do know that.

She chuckles lightly and grabs her bag from the floor, I'm instantly on my feet.

"Don't leave, just please don't leave now." She's already putting her feet in her shoes.

She looks back at me and see's the pipe in my hand before she drops her bag and walks over to me.

It's yanked from my hand faster than I can comprehend and she's grabbing a bag from the table. She heads straight for the bathroom and locks herself inside. I don't even have to check the doorknob to know it's locked, this is what happens every time.


End file.
